Breakups can be devastating, be it with a lover or with a friend. In just one moment, your walls crumble down and your feet like they’re hanging mid-air. These little tough moments happen to everyone; some are fast paced and fade away after sometime, while some feel like a never-ending excruciating pain in the chest.
It’s only a matter of time before you finally think you’re recovering, but those days that you feel like being locked up into your room for hours and even start losing your appetite, seems to last for ages. It’s easy said than done, moving on, but there sure are several ways that definitely helps relieve the hurt. So here are 10 ways you can try to aid to your efforts of getting back up.
1) Own it.
The very first thing you want to do, is to own it. You cannot take a step forward if you keep denying the situation. It is very hard, but very important to accept that it has happened, and it is real. Keep crying and do not shut down any thought that occurs to your now overthinking brain. Cry till you feel the mental pain taking over you physically, shout, and scream into a pillow, abuse; do anything apart from hurting yourself physically in any manner. Because hurting yourself is not going to change what is already done, but it sure will affect those who still love you, unconditionally. Changing your routine and excluding them from your daily errands will help you in accepting that it is all real.
2) Burn it down.
Letters, chits, love notes, gifts, jewelry, clothes, Valentines roses. They might be cute and still smell like them but they are a constant reminder of the love you have lost. Burn it all down or throw them into trash. This will definitely be hard because by now, you must have started missing the memories rather than the person themselves, and memories hurt the most. But you have to put the foot down, and do it anyway. Try a bonfire like F.R.I.E.N.D.S, who knows you too might land up with some pretty hot firemen? You could maybe even try to sell the stuff if they have value, why not earn some money instead of wasting precious emotions on them bits.
Removing these things is like clearing out the clutter and making space for new things that are coming your way; best way to ensure positivity towards the new adventures paving your path.
3) Clear the Phone and Manage your Social Media.
The third and the most important thing to do is to clear your phone. Phone is something we use every day, most of the time; it is also the device that made a connection with that person. The pictures, videos, screenshots, chats, emails, and texts everything has to be deleted. Storing those memories near you would be toxic for you in long term and so, not a single piece related to that relationship is to be kept hidden for you to cling on to.
Your social media depicts your status, which has to be de-coupled. Take down all the posts you’ve shared or uploaded with them. Delete the number, unfollow, unfriend, de-tag – do whatever it takes to keep you miles away from reaching their profiles and posts. Also, block them. Yes, blocking might seem stupid in this age but it is essential to make sure you do not go looking in to their posts to check if they miss you or to realize they are happy and healthy without you; neither should they come visiting your profile and texting something really emotional like how you’re so happy so soon. Absolute NO-NO. *blocked*
4) Recreate your surroundings.
Now it’s time to do something to bring you up from that bed, and nothing could be better than clearing the mess and recreating the space around you. Since your surroundings represent your mood, changing them for good will help you freshen up your mind and think clearly. Some basic changes like sorting your closet: throwing away outfits that you wore only because they liked, or that you haven’t worn for ages, jazzing up the closet by arranging clothes in a different pattern, sticking up posters on the wall, investing in some dreamcatchers or wind chimes to tinkle up the room a little bit, changing beddings and moving the furniture around, hell you could even paint the walls!
5) Make a wish list.
Who doesn’t want to take a fresh start and make a schedule to follow! But we never get enough motivation always, do we? Well, this might be the lucky chance! When your heart is still healing, what really does the trick is tricking it into something that boosts up energy and blossoms all the wishes that were long hidden. So take a pen and a paper and write down all that you’ve been wishing to do ever since but somehow couldn’t, like maybe taking dance lessons or perhaps start writing, maybe something completely crazy like coloring your hair all green or going on a one-day trip some place far, alone. Or it can be as simple as going book hunting. Jot them down and vow on putting in efforts to complete them. This will fill you up with energy and a positive attitude towards working.
6) Change your routine.
Make a change in your routine activities. The diner or the café or any place else that you used to go with them, will only bring all the memories flooding back, which is out of bounds. So walk around, try to find a new place that you can call just yours. Don’t shut out your friends any more, go out with them for games or just for a snack, and maybe involve yourself in a little gossip. Wake up early and try to spend some ‘me’ time doing something that you feel passionate about. Walk in to a bakery just for the smell of freshly baked bread. Do things you haven’t done in a long time.
This is one foolproof way to promote a healthy mind and body. Exercising releases endorphin, which gives you a feel good factor. And by exercising, I don’t just mean literal exercising. Hit that Zumba class or enroll for a Kick-Boxing or a Karate class; as Rachel Green rightly says, “Kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really does take out of you.” Whatever you do, make sure you sweat.
Eating healthy would also add to benefit. Indulge yourself into fresh juices and a lot of water intake to cover up for all your sweat. Vegetables, pulses and fruits have never gone wrong. Just find out what kind of dishes you like and add a little spice to them; you’ll see for yourself what wonder those damn peppers and cinnamon sticks can do.
8) Take Control.
Bake, sketch, stitch, repair, potter – just do something tactile where you can see the results of your hard work and get a sense of control back. Making things by hand is proven to improve your mood; it decrease stress and eases anxiety. It’s also good fun. And if you get really good you might even earn something with your newly found abilities. Don’t hide away from sharing your talents, they will definitely help boosting confidence.
9) Occupy yourself.
The feeling that you get when you run on a tight schedule, completing your errands on time, learning new talents, helping out at home or just listening to a friend’s rants, can never be explained through words. After a day of working your ass off to give yourself a better day, you sleep peacefully thinking how nothing could ever go wrong again, and even if it does, I’ll be able to handle it. Strive to be a better and whole-hearted version of you every day, for yourself. When you finally start falling in love with yourself, everything else will eventually fall into place.
10) Makeover. Last but not the least on the hot list, a makeover plays a very crucial role. Till now you were wearing your hair long because they liked it so, you talked and walked a certain way because you knew they were watching. Well guess what? Not anymore. They’re not around and so you can pull those baggy jeans and your tanks-tops on. Chop off your hair in a style you haven’t tried before or get them colored. Gaining confidence in yourself is important. It makes you self-aware, boosts your morale and depicts a version of you to the world to see and appreciate and dictates what you draw in.
So go ahead and turn the heads, you got this! ^_^